A torn jacket is soon mended; but hard words
bruise the heart of a child...Longfellow

Love is like a violin. The music may stop now and then,
but the strings remain forever... Bacher

There is only one pretty child in the world, and
every mother has it... Bridge

The mother's heart is the child's schoolroom.
Henry Ward Beecher
A Mother's love grows by giving.
Charles Lamb
Mother------ that was the bank
where we deposited all our hurts and worries.
Talmage
Mother is the name for God
in the lips and hearts of little children.
William Makepeace Thackeray

Ever notice that a human baby doesn't walk until it's tall enough to reach 
a parent's hand?

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like clearing the 
drive before it has stopped snowing.
 

I asked Mom if I was a gifted child...she said they certainly wouldn't have paid for me.

Children are natural mimics, who act like their parents despite every 
effort to teach them good manners.

Children will soon forget your presents, they will always remember your presence.

Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word
what you shouldn't have said.

The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself 
that there are children more awful than your own.

Becoming aware of my character defects leads me naturally to 
the next step of blaming my parents.

We childproofed our home 3 years ago and they're still getting in.

Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.

Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your children.

Who are these kids and why are they calling me Mom?

Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your kids.

When mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.

You can fool some of the people all of the time and all of the people some 
of the time, but you can never fool a Mom.

I love to give homemade gifts...which one of my kids do you want?

A child's greatest period of growth is the month after you've purchased new school clothes.

Anyone who says "easy as taking candy from a baby" has never tried it.

Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk.
Then you spend the next 16 telling them to sit
down and shut-up.

But the truest truism of all:

The best inheritance parents can give their children is a few minutes 
of their time each day.

Real Mothers don't eat quiche; they don't have time to make it.

Real Mothers know that their kitchen utensils are probably in the sandbox.

Real Mothers often have sticky floors, filthy ovens and happy kids.

Real Mothers know that dried play dough doesn't come out of shag carpet.

Real Mothers don't want to know what the vacuum just sucked up.

Real Mothers sometimes ask "why me?" and get their answer when a little voice says, "because I love you best."

Real Mothers know that a child's growth is not measured by height or years or grade.  It is marked by the progression of Mama to Mommy to Mom...

MONA LISA'S MOTHER: "After all that money your father and
I spent on braces, that's the biggest smile you can give us?"

COLUMBUS' MOTHER: "I don't care what you've discovered, you still
could have written!"

MICHELANGELO'S MOTHER: "Can't you paint on walls like other
children?  Do you have any idea how hard it is to get that stuff off
the ceiling?"

NAPOLEON'S MOTHER: "All right, if you aren't hiding your report card
inside your jacket, take your hand out of there and show me."

ABRAHAM LINCOLN'S MOTHER: "Again with the stovepipe hat? 
Can't you just wear a baseball cap like the other kids?"

MARY'S MOTHER: "I'm not upset that your lamb followed you 
to school, but I would like to know how he got a better
grade than you."

ALBERT EINSTEIN'S MOTHER: "But it's your senior picture. Can't you
do something about your hair? Styling gel, mousse, something...?"

GEORGE WASHINGTON'S MOTHER: "The next time I catch you throwing
money across the Potomac, you can kiss your allowance good-bye!"

JONAH'S MOTHER: "That's a nice story. Now tell me where you've
really been for the last forty years."

THOMAS EDISON'S MOTHER: "Of course I'm proud that you invented the electric light bulb. Now turn it off and get to bed!"

PAUL REVERE'S MOTHER: "I don't care where you think you 
have to go, young man, midnight is past your curfew."
 

Has eaten their weight in Girl Scout cookies.

     Has at least two backup recipes for play-doh.

     Has Pizza Hut on speed dial.

     Has prepared more than 10,000 servings of macaroni and cheese.

     Unconsciously hums at least three children's show theme songs a day.

     Can take construction paper, glue, pudding cups and
     aluminum foil and make a delightful Thanksgiving centerpiece.

     Can produce from their pocket/purse at least 12 legos,
     three hot wheels cars, and a Barbie shoe at any given time.

     Has at least one child induced stain on the clothing they  are currently wearing.

     Secretly hopes that whoever thought up three months for summer vacation gets attacked by a
     pack of marauding wolverines.

     Knows that a suspiciously sweet, "Mommy, I love you" means," I have just decorated your new headboard/carpet/dress/suit with all your makeup."

How did we do ladies ? *smile*

My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE - "If you're going to kill
each other, do it outside - I just finished cleaning!"

My mother taught me RELIGION - "You better pray that will come out of the
carpet."

My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL: "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to
knock you into the middle of next week!"

My mother taught me LOGIC: "Because I said so, that's why."

My mother taught me FORESIGHT - "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case
you're in an accident."

My mother taught me IRONY - "Keep laughing and I'll *give* you something to cry
about."

My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS - "Shut your mouth and eat your
supper!"

My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM - "Will you *look* at the dirt on the
back of your neck!"

My mother taught me about STAMINA - "You'll sit there 'til all that spinach is
finished."

My mother taught me about WEATHER - "It looks as if a tornado swept through your
room."

My mother taught me how to solve PHYSICS PROBLEMS - "If I yelled because I saw a
meteor coming toward you; would you listen then?"

My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY - "If I've told you once, I've told you a
million times - Don't Exaggerate!!!"

My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE - "I brought you into this world, and I
can take you out."

My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION - "Stop acting like your
father!"

My mother taught me about ENVY - "There are millions of less fortunate children
in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do!"

THANKS, MOM!

Before I was a Mom
  I made and ate hot meals
  I had unstained clothing
  I had quiet conversations on the phone
  Before I was a Mom
  I slept and ate as I wanted
  And never worried about how late I got into bed
  I brushed my hair and teeth every day
  Before I was a Mom
  I cleaned my house each day
  I never tripped over toys or forgot words to lullabies
  Before I was a Mom
  I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous
  I never thought about immunizations
  Before I was a Mom
  I was never puked on
  pooped on
  spit on
  chewed on
  peed on
  or pinched by tiny fingers
  Before I was a Mom
  I had complete control of my mind
  my thoughts
  and my body
  I slept all night
  Before I was a Mom
  I never held down a screaming child
  so that doctors could do tests
  or give shots
  I never looked into teary eyes and cried
  I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin
  I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep
  Before I was a Mom
  I never held a sleeping baby just because
  I didn't want to put it down
  I never felt my heart break into a million pieces
  when I couldn't stop the hurt
  I never knew that something so small
  could affect my life so much
  I never knew that I would love being a Mom
  Before I was a Mom
  I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body
  I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby
  I didn't know that bond between a Mother and her child
  I didn't know that something so small
  could make me feel so important
  Before I was a Mom
  I had never gotten up in the middle of the night
  every 10 minutes to make sure everything was okay
  I had never known the warmth
  the joy
  the heartache
  the wonder
  or the satisfaction of being a Mom
  I didn't know I was capable of so much
  Before I was a Mom